I posted a video on Facebook yesterday and the response to it got me thinking. The video was by Eric Clapton. He wrote it after the tragic death of his 4 year old son, Conor. It is entitled “Tears in Heaven.” Here is the link to the video for those who may not have seen it. Very moving tribute. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB_k2BC0O58
In the ministry, I find myself starring death in the face far too often. Most of the time it is someone who have lived a long fulfilling life and is ready to go home to see Jesus. On occasion the I find myself thrust into the past when dealing with a family who has lost a child. The natural progression of life leads us to believe that parents are not suppose to bury their children. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I’m reminded, as I was yesterday, that I’m not the only parent who has had to face this life altering experience. You never get over it. The best you can hope for is to learn to live with it to the point of being able to survive.
I have always found the 18 Chapter of Matthew to be of comfort.
At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
I never read this verse that I don’t see Kyle as the one Jesus called “in the midst of them.” This has helped me on many occasions to realize that my young son is in Heaven and wouldn’t come back to this earth if Jesus Himself gave him a quick round trip ticket back to earth. Once you’ve seen Heaven I can’t imagine that Earth has any further appeal.
I’ve attended the death of a few children during the last 8 years. It is a most traumatic time and in more than one case I have totally failed the family. I do think the loss of my son has prepared me to a point to help others or, at least, somehow be able to understand their pain.
There are some does and don’ts when trying to ease and comfort those who have lost a child. So many times we try to use scripture to comfort. That is a good thing but be very careful. Here is one of the most famous that we tend to use.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
This is a beautiful verse and it is true, as is all of God’s Holy Word, but at the moment of grieving parents do not understand and in my humble opinion the absolute worst thing you can say to a parent is “something good will come out of this” or “the child is in a better place.” Again, this is a correct statement straight from God but to a grieving parent the best place for their child is in their arms.
Never, ever use the term “I know how you feel!” No you don’t. I do not mean that in a spirit of being rude but it’s impossible to “know how they feel.”
The greatest response you can give someone who has lost a child is to put your arm around them, tell them you love them and will be praying for them.
A verse from God’s Word that pertains to everyone is found in 2 Samuel. King David has just lost his son and his servants were concerned that he was going to do something drastic. He had prayed and fasted that the child would live but the youngster did not. David said,
2 Samuel 12:23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him , but he shall not return to me.
This is a verse that each one should take to heart. We cannot bring our loved ones back but we can Trust the Work that Jesus did on the Cross and accept the “Free Gift” of salvation. Then we have an iron clad guarantee that we will not only see our loved ones again but spend eternity in the presence of God.
Thanks for allowing me to post this. Sometimes you just got to get it out.
May GOD Bless..